So … um … what does a work in progress even mean?
Making mistakes …
… and forgiving yourself when you do
Looking at everything you are and everywhere you’ve been …
… and smiling at how far you’ve come
Accepting that you’ve been pleasing a lot of other people …
… and starting to quietly please yourself (wink)
Admitting you’ve been workin’ that façade like it’s going out of style …
… and putting more work into being yourself (whatever that means to you)
Knowing that sometimes you don’t have your shit together …
… and accepting yourself every single time
Does that make sense?
When you …
Secretly wonder if your parents would lose it if they knew the real you
Are tired of this quest for perfection and just want to relax into yourself
Are ready to let your guard down and trust you’ll be accepted
… you know you’re in the right place (it’s this one! Yay!)
And when you say words like this and aren’t judged for it, you also know you’re with the right person.
I’m an 80’s music lovin’, Old Fashioned drinkin’, freedom lovin’, travel junkie.
I was raised by Asian parents who wanted the best for me.
When we first moved to Canada, the best meant:
- Blending in with the kids at school (think: invisibility)
- Never questioning elders, or attempting to rock the proverbial boat
- Thinking of everyone else before myself
- Pushing myself in academia and making them proud
When I started taking on Western values, my parents judged me for it. I was disappointing them.
And when I was being too Asian around my friends, they laughed at me for it.
The result? A people pleasing, confused Theresa who was struggling to find where on earth acceptance was.
So to get that acceptance, I played it safe. Stayed small. Conformed to what everyone else wanted me to be.
In short: I was depressed.
But I felt like I had no right to be. My life wasn’t difficult. Was I making it difficult?
Fast forward to 2007, and my parents finally started to see the impact of their judgements.
They told me to do what makes me happy. They felt helpless when I wasn’t.
And I realized that, in all their attempts to make me my best, all they ever wanted was exactly what I wanted – to be happy.
And this? Taught me the power of stepping into someone else’s shoes. Seeing things from their perspective. And not judging myself through their eyes by showing myself compassion..
If my story rings true, I’ve got news for ya:
There’s more to life than walking around living it through the eyes of someone you’re not.
Bruce Lee said it best:
Absorb what is useful. Discard what is not. Add what is uniquely your own
It’s a quote I wholeheartedly live by.
And here’s another one:
The scars you share become light houses for other people who are headed to the same rocks you hit
Isn’t that beautiful?
It’s the reason I created this website.
To share the lessons of my life (so far) with you. To open up about how I felt when living what I termed a double life. To be vulnerable so you have space to be vulnerable too.
Getting My Shit Together is a community for people just like us. Where we face, head on, this concept of pleasing . Where we support each other to figure out how living life on our terms is possible. And where we do all this without pissing off those around us (and still be okay with it if we do).
It’s also a community of storytellers. Your story matters. It’s important to everyone in this community. Which is why, when you share it, you immediately help others in the same place as you were. And they can, in turn, help you with theirs.
I’ve created this community. And you’re invited
Unlike Pharrel, we’re not just frontin’.
We’re confronting all those pesky little demons that keep telling us to be a certain way. To think anything other than what’s in our heads. And forcing us to mould into a box that they think we need to fit into.
And y’know what?
It isn’t about giving the middle finger to someone who judges you.
It’s about showing them compassion – the same compassion you show yourself.
It isn’t about being angry about the experiences you’ve had.
It’s about understanding them to manoeuvre through the rest of your life.
And what it really isn’t about … is me.
This community is about you.
So here’s what to do next:
- Click Here to tell me your story. Why? Because somewhere in the world, there’s someone going through what you went through. They want hope that there’s an end to it. Show it to them.
- Click Here to receive updates from this community. One to three times a month. On email
- Connect with me on Facebook, Google+, Instagram