“Discovering the truth about ourselves is a lifetime’s work, but it’s worth the effort.”
- Fred Rogers
The journey to cultivating love for yourself can be scary and hard, but it does get easier as you learn to deal with discomfort and change. Here are some things to keep in mind as you open the doors to loving yourself.
It is not an overnight process and takes patience.
Any goals you have in life is a journey, not a destination. And to Fred Rogers point, it’s a lifetime’s work. So don’t get impatient thinking as soon as you start doing the inner work, your life is going to be groovy the next day. In fact, expect to feel and get uncomfortable before you start to feel good.
Feeling uncomfortable is normal. Why?
1. You pay attention to your negative feelings.
Instead of ignoring them, you are now entertaining and exploring it. Your ego is not used to this and will think it got high-jacked by your heart, and resist it. And when this happens, what I usually do is I acknowledge it and say
I know you are just trying to protect me. I’m just exploring. I will ask you to help out when I need you. For now, I need you to please give me some space. Love you.
And then, I surrender to my feelings. And yes, sometimes I find I need to do this more often than I would like, but eventually the ego gives way and I have my space to explore my feeling through writing or talking it through with a trusted confidante.
2. Change Occurs.
As you change, your behaviors and your appearance will change. Some people who are in your circle may not like this ‘new’ version of you. When you explore other interests and begin to speak your truth and get aligned with your core values, you will grow out of your box.
When you grow out of your mold, you no longer ‘fit in’ it anymore. And that’s OK. Know that when you are more aligned with your essence, you will experience change in your life. Instead of focusing on the loss, think about what you will gain as you embrace your being and start a new chapter in your life.
As you transition there’s always loose ends to be tied up and uncertainties that you will have to face. All of which can be difficult and scary no doubt.
Know and trust that you can take on whatever it is you need to do to move forward. Know that you can handle whatever consequences comes your way because be it good or bad you will learn something from the experience. It will help build your character and you will use it for something greater.
This is part 2 of 3 of the Live Mindfully - Love Yourself Series.
Part 1 What does it mean to love yourself?
Part 3 4 Relationship Lessons to Overcome the Breakup Blues
Photo by: slalit