(5 minutes read)
Often when I work with clients and ask them what’s holding them back to being the person they want to be. The response I get ranges from a lack of focus, passion, confidence, fear of failure to worrying about what others may think.
Welcome to being human. Throughout our lives, all of those things will get to us and stop us in our tracks at various points in our life.
What it comes down to is you deciding
what meaning you want to give it. And how you want to maneuver your way through it.
Here’s the thing.
It does get uncomfortable to get out of your comfort zone. Sometime it feels ‘safer’ to stay where you are than to experience the pain and the discomforts of change.
It is easier to stay status quo and just ignore the disempowering thoughts that often come with it.
Below I dispel the belief barriers that are keeping you stuck.
"I lack focus, I don’t know where to start. I don’t know what I want. I’m easily distracted."
You don’t need ‘focus’ in the sense where you are converging all your attention to your purpose and being.
What you need is a ‘focus point’.
To get clear on the type of person you want to be and what you want to create in your life. If you don’t know, make time
to really think about it.
If money or (insert what is stopping you)
are not obstacles in my life, what do I want to create? and who do I want to be? And Why is being who you want to be or what you want to do important to you?
Once you have clarity and the importance of what it means to you, it will naturally act as a ‘focus point’
to help motivate you to live and be the person you want to be. You’ll start to be more conscious of your thoughts, decisions and do things that are aligned with your values.
"I don’t know what my passion is. I’m not passionate about anything. My interests changes so often. I can’t seem to find my passion."
Words can mean different things to different people. But sometimes, we get caught up with others(i.e. societal) definition of what passion means and the hype of ‘finding our passion’, believing we need to find it in order to have a ‘fulfilled’ or better life.
So what does passion mean to you?
For me, it’s simply being able to be, do, and enjoy the things that make me feel excited and happy. I don’t need to LOVE it, although I certainly need to like it and be interested in the activity I’m doing.
Also, remember nothing is set in stone. Life changes, you grow so it’s normal for your passion to change
as you grow and discover new things. It's also totally normal to have more than one passion.
Who knows you may even start to like doing things you used to dislike?
So give yourself a break and give yourself the permission to explore and follow what makes your heart feel blissful.
"I don’t have enough confidence yet. I’m not good enough yet."
Truth – Confidence is not a requirement
. You need to take action in doing what’s uncomfortable and lean into your edge.
Have you ever experienced a time where you lacked confidence but courageously took action in being who you are and leaned into your edge just ever so slightly knowing you are supported and you survived?
What if next time before you do anything that is out of your comfort zone, you imagine
you’ve done it several times already and it is a piece of cake.
What would that feel like? Acting As If
you are confident because you've done it countless of times?
"I’m afraid to fail."
By not trying you have failed.
What if you go into any decision you make thinking whatever consequences that may come, be it good or bad I will have learned something, I will have grown from the experience and can apply it to my life. It's never too late to learn.
5. What Others Think
"So and so it not going to like me. So and so will be disappointed."
No matter what people are going to judge you. You cannot satisfy everybody, so why not be your best authentic self. It may not be easy at first, but it will get easier as you envelop your own essence and live your truth. And those who love you FOR YOU will forever love you and remember you as the person you want to be remembered by.
In the end, nobody owns you but you. This reminds me of a line from the Hunger Games where Peeta Mellark said ‘They don’t own me. If I’m gonna die, I still wanna be me.”
Photo by: Do-Hyun Kim