A Nifty Experiment to Generate Romantic Love

We all yearn for love and connection in our lives, especially when it comes to romantic love.   Recently having interviewed Mark Groves, who is a relationship mentor, and asking him what is a communication practice every couple can do more of to create a trusting and loving relationship, he shared with me an article to check out in NY Times, “To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This.”   In this article, author Mandy Len Catron shares with us her story of experimenting with a study done by psychologist Arthur Aron who looked at whether intimacy and a deep connection can be fast tracked between two strangers through a series of 36 deep personal questions, followed by 4 minutes of intense eye gazing.   For anyone who is interested to open yourself to vulnerability and connect with your partner or a potential love interest who is open to connect at a deeper level with the chance of falling in love, click here to access the 36 questions.   Now, what is a practice you can do with your partner to create a more loving and conscious partnership?   Mark suggests checking in with your partner to see on a scale of 1 -10 what kind of boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, partner was I this week? And what made it a ____?   Yes, this can be an edgy question, as it can open up some uncomfortable conversations.   However, the purpose of this exercise is to allow you and your partner to speak candidly and honestly about something that may have bothered you earlier in the week, so that any issues or misunderstandings can be cleared and resolved.   Now prior to engaging in this type of conversation, I would suggest for you and your loved one to work out some additional ground rules in which you both agree upon to create a safe space to talk openly.   Some examples could be to keep an open-mind, to listen and stay silent until the other person finishes talking, to stick with facts, feelings and fair requests.   The beauty of this exercise is it alleviates the need for you to be a mind reader and it allows you to get feedback from those who are important to you in a safe, supportive and understanding environment. It encourages you to express what’s on your mind so that you can grow together and help each other show up to be a better version of yourself and for each other.  

So stop 'chickening' out and start 'checking in'

  when it comes to communicating with your partner because you are afraid what he/she might think of you.  Did you notice an anagram here? Chickening – Checking In. 🙂   Expand your practice of ‘checking in’ and apply it to other relationships that matters to you. This could be with your team, or with your children and doing it as a family. For example, on a scale of 1- 10 what was I as a mother/father/manager/coach this week?   A friend of mine Anil Gupta does this regularly with his family, where at dinner they would sit around a table and the question he would ask, “is there anything that you have on your mind, any upset that hasn’t been resolved?” In doing so, it helps clear up and resolve any issues that may be on someone’s mind, as often we have no idea how our actions or inactions may affect or be perceived by someone else.   And instead of hearing what the other person say as criticism, see it as feedback. See it as an opportunity for you and those who matter to you to connect, create more awareness, while strengthening to grow your relationship at the same time. How powerful is that?   Photo by: yusri abd halim
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Categories: Blog and Personal Growth.

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