Finding Your Conversations Getting Boring, Try This

Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard and valued – when they can give and receive without judgment. – Brene Brown   Lately, I have noticed the connections with the people in my life have become routine. My interactions with the people I come across on a daily basis from my concierge to my colleagues to my friends who I’ve known forever have become overly predictable.   And it dawned on me, why not change up my interaction a bit.   Instead of the usual exchange with my concierge, Hey Adam, how’s it going? Which he then replies, good, you? And I say, not bad thanks, to try something different.   Perhaps I can compliment him on something he is wearing today or take an interest and say oh yea? what’s been going on to make it a good day?   Because when we go about our everyday lives having the same interaction, we fall into doing what feels easy and familiar.   In doing so it only allows people to see one side of you. They don’t get to see the multi-faceted being that you are.  

To really connect with people on a deeper level, we need to show them different sides of us.

  Of course I’m not saying to show ALL of yourself to EVERYONE ALL at once. After all, it depends on circumstances and what you feel is right. Also, it never hurts to be a little mysterious. 😉   As Brene Brown famously said, “Share with people who have earned the right to hear your story.”   What I’m saying is we all tend to stick to doing certain things and having certain types of conversation and topics with certain friends and the people in our lives. What if you took the time to just try something different and show them a different side of you by engaging with them a different type of conversation.   So for the people who you tend to be more serious around with, try teasing them, showing them a more playful side of you. Or vice versa those who you are always silly with, try asking them a meaningful question exhibiting the more serious side.   And if people look at you funny and ask what’s gotten into you, feeling surprised at seeing a new side of you, so what? Pat yourself on the back for trying something new and giving yourself the permission to express showing a different side of you.   How they choose to adjust to this new side of you will enable you to see who you could build a deeper connection with, how you want to show up in people’s lives, and the type of people who you want to keep and surround yourself with.   In the end, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain in discovering who you can develop a deeper connection with. It’s a sweet deal to be able to surround yourself with people who you can be real with and is able to see your different personality and accept the different side of you.   Photo by Abigail Keenan

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