What You Need To Do When You Are Being Breadcrumbed

If you haven’t the strength to impose your own terms upon life, then you must accept the terms it offers you. T. S. Eliot    

Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot about breadcrumbing. This term is popping up a lot in the dating world. But I think it is applicable to all aspects of our lives.

What is breadcrumbing?

It's when someone puts in minimal effort to get you to stay interested.

You feel like you are being a strung along but you make excuses for them. You continue to hope for your 'happy ending' -when deep in your heart you know you should move on.

It may be in the area of dating or in a job. How many times have empty promises been delivered in the form of - when this happens then we’ll be able to (fill in your desired outcome).

You know something’s gotta change because whatever is being done to you is not making you feel good. But you are not ready to let go just yet. Either because of fear of the unknown, fear of failure or you don’t know how.


Here’s the thing.

The fact that you know something needs to change is good news. The bad news is if you don’t change, nothing is going to change.

So what are you to do?

Here’s a hint.

The change starts with you (eyeroll). Yes I wish I had something more profound to tell you, but it is this simple.

A Story

Recently, a friend was exhausted by the people she worked with at a Health and Wellness clinic. Two weeks into her gig, she declared "I'm tired off being breadcrumbed by people." 

She follows by saying, "I thought people in the health and wellness industry would be different from those who are  cut-throat in the corporate world."

"What do you mean?", I asked.

"Well, I thought working in a health and wellness company, they’d understand work-life balance, be more open-minded, more friendly and be a champion to wellness for both their clients and employees. But I guess I was wrong.

It doesn’t matter what industry you are in, where you live, where you work, or what you do, you’ll come across people that have inferiority complexes. Who will shade you left and right. Who have agendas and are not genuine in helping you because there’s always some sort of condition or expectation tied to what they give you.

Luckily, I’ve gone through this before. I can now easily recognize when people are stringing me along, have ill-intentions, making me doubt myself and my self-worth.

And I have decided, no more. I’m not going to be played. And I'm not going to settle for breadcrumbs in my personal or professional life anymore.

It’s time to move on."

So what can you do?

Start by DECIDING you are not going to settle for breadcrumbs anymore.

It not only drains your mental, physical and emotional energy, it also wastes your time.

Give yourself the self-respect.

Decide to change your attitude. Instead of being complacent, this is just how it is.

Decide to believe in something more for yourself.

Decide to change your thoughts. 

Decide how you want to interact and show up in your life.

Decide to re-invent your future with the choices you make and the actions you take.

And if this is all still too hard…

Listen to No Scrubs – TLC.  Replace Scrubs with ‘Crumbs’ when you sing along 😛  I bet you won’t be able to help yourself!

In all seriousness...

Decide to try and put a different perspective on for a second, a minute, an hour, a day. And who knows maybe soon you’ll start to see things in a new light, start believing and take action.


Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny. ~Gandhi

Photo by: Marina Khrapova

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Categories: Blog and Personal Growth.

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