1. Tell us a little bit more about who you are, how you are having fun living life, passionately pursuing your dreams with Uncommon Chick.
Well, let’s see…where do I begin!?! I began my earthly existence as a curiously inquisitive youngster who has evolved into a hard core Questioneer. I give myself permission to ask questions about EVERYthing I encounter and discover new solutions to old problems and ultimately have fun doing it. So speaking of fun, my mantra is simple – every day, share love and laughter as both help us heal and shine brighter.
I started Uncommon Chick because I felt alone in my thinking but knew there were others out there who HAD to be feeling like there is more to life than what the “status quo” affords us. I always knew that I was different in the way I thought about things and the world around me but was afraid to express those thoughts for fear of rejection, ridicule, and not being accepted amongst friends and family.
So Uncommon Chick is my outlet to share my voice (and my fellow contributors’ voices) and is now a tribe of high achieving, gutsy uncommon chicks who feel my flow and with whom I vibe in the online world!
I grew up around people who believe tradition is the be-all and end-all of life and an “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” attitude. However, that mindset didn’t work for me.
I didn’t see the joy in following a path that was being set for me by others, to live an existence based on someone else’s expectations, and grow old with a sad “woulda coulda shoulda” attitude and regretful mind on my death bed.
Oooh, I love this question! It means so many things but here are a few:
- I get to set my life’s path as I want it to be
- I don’t have to live my life based on what other people want me to do or expect of me
- I get to choose who I let in my life to influence, motivate, and co-create positive relationships with which means I also get to choose who to remove from my circle, regardless if they are family members, have been around forever or what have you. If they are no longer serving me in a loving and positive way, it’s a done deal!
- I release struggling to fit a certain model of what my life should look like, what I should look like, what I should dress like, how I should act, etc.
- I can find peace with the choices I make and know that if I don’t like them, I get to keep choosing differently until I do. 🙂
4. Often times when you decide to ‘forget’ tradition and live by your own rules, you are afraid of what people are going to think and do and you start to feel like an outcast quite quickly. Any advice on how to deal with that?
Yessss, this is a biggie! And although I’ve chosen to walk this “positive rebel” path, it doesn’t mean I am immune to this very feeling. I often think about what others think and how they will react to my choices and thoughts. By the way, I am a recovering people pleaser! But a wise friend once told me that in the end, what truly matters is how I feel about what I do.
So I won’t lie to you and say that you will never care what others think again (because as long as you’re human, you will WANT to and it’s a good thing…it means you have compassion and love for your fellow peeps!) but what I will tell you is this: the longer you care MORE about what others think than your own thoughts, the more you step away from your own power, your own goals, and your own path.
When you feel you’re stuck in your life, professionally or personally, because you’re afraid of what mommy, sister, husband, friend, pastor, etc. will think, know that only you can lead your life, not anyone else. Even though there is nothing wrong with getting the opinions of trusted loved ones every now and then, the ultimate choice is yours!
Is this easier said than done? Of course it is! It’s a struggle between wanting to please others and making them happy and making yourself happy. I choose the latter any day and I hope you do as well!
Oh boy, I’ve noticed so much more has opened up for me since saying YES to myself! It’s like the Universe was just waiting on me to accept my power and stop resisting my true self to unleash pure wonderfulness on me! LOL
I now can say no more easily than I’ve ever before and it’s such a fantabulous feeling to be able to do that. It wasn’t by any means an overnight shift. It took me years but I believe it took me that long because I didn’t have anybody to tell me it was okay to do so. I was still in the path of tradition and convention that kept me stuck in that phase of being a people pleaser and putting myself second.
I don’t care what other people’s definition of selfish is but mine is that I get to do for me first because if I don’t, I am NO good to anyone else!
6. What’s one disempowering belief you used to have that you decided to toss or perhaps upgrade it into an empowering one that has changed your life?
I didn’t think I had any power, despite what others told me. I didn’t believe it myself. For some reason, I used to think that power meant you had to be manipulative and controlling which wasn’t in my nature. I didn’t quite understand what “owning/using my power” meant.
After reading and digesting Marianne Williamson’s famous quote on Our Greatest Fear:
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
I now understand that I AM powerful beyond measure which also means I get to define what that means for me. It doesn’t mean that I have power “over” others; it means I can be bold enough to shine my light in the world so that others are positively impacted. It means I don’t need to be afraid of my creativity, uniqueness or love. It means I have a choice and can give myself permission (versus someone else giving it to me) to make my own decisions and be okay with them regardless of the outcome.
This new thought allows me to create more, speak out more, be more of myself around others and not dim my brightness because someone else might be uncomfortable, which is something I can’t control anyway. Often we, women especially, turn off our power and dim our light so that others can be comfortable. Huge mistake! This limits our own creativity and capacity to help someone who may truly need us.
7. In order to grow, we often have to get out of your comfort zone, what do you do to get out of your comfort zone and create new experiences?
Simple…do something different. Okay, it’s not easy but it’s surely that simple. 😀 First, you have to know where your comfort level is in order to know where to step out of it.
We often hear that mediocrity is bred through comfort and that nothing extraordinary happens in the comfort zone so when I’m in creation mode, I tell myself to think differently, seek a new perspective, be open to creation, and get out and experience new things because all of that is part of the creative process to move us forward to new heights and grow beyond our current state.
In addition, I travel often, even solo, I journal daily, and I step up to the plate even when I’m not ready.
On a monthly basis, I get a massage or a facial or both depending on how I feel. Weekly, I use Sundays as my Pamper Me days where I do a home facial, exfoliate my entire body, give myself a mani and pedi, read some fiction (even if it’s just a chapter or two depending on how much time I have) or even just sit back and watch movies. It’s my time to do whatever I want.
In addition, I meditate often, enjoy silence, write in my gratitude journal and spend time with my loved ones (including the cat LOL). Some people might be surprised that I mention spending time with others as a self-love activity but that’s because part of loving myself is sharing love with others and my closest friends and family are a joy to be around which in turn makes me feel awesome. 🙂
Interesting question because I have none and here’s why: I’m not fearless myself. I actually don’t believe that we can be. Every time we step up and show up, every time we enter a new experience and come out of that comfort zone we talked about earlier, there WILL be fear without a doubt! So my new thought pattern is to be courageous not fearless. I believe courage will help us transcend fear, not get rid of it.
My favorite quote of all time is by Dr. Wayne Dyer: “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
Why? Because it’s all about perspective! If we give ourselves permission to take a moment and change the filter through which we see our lives, our problems and situations, then we can not only change how we see them but ultimately their outcome.
Dr. Dyer explains what this quote means on his blog way better than I can! and you can check it out here.
Wow, my project list is huge! There are so many things I want to do, so many places I want to go, and several more items on my short term bucket list to complete by age 40; 3 years to go!
This quarter though I’m in the process of creating a new podcast called Project Escape Normal, a movement if you will all about living life your way…unapologetically.
I will be featuring different guests who embody living life on their own terms, sharing their wisdom, mistakes, lessons, and successes with listeners to help them on their own journey of transformation and set their sights on creating a ridiculously great life!
If anyone wants to be notified when the podcast launches or would like to be a guest, email me at email@example.com!